adam

"hi, my name is jerry im an addict" *the NA crowd says hi* "ive been clean for 89 days. my mind is clear and i think its getting better everyday a little bit. but i want to talk about this dream i keep having. it always starts with me stealing silver-wear. then, i go and and sell it to this guy who i used to know who owned a catering service. then with the money i used to go to this place where id buy my drug of choice. and hes not around. so i go to other spots, right? but for some reason no one is around. all of Seattle is dry. and then i get that feeling, the dread. i panic. and i start running. and its raining, it gets dark. and then im at my old apartment and i go thrashing right through it looking for something i may have stashed away. then i think im having a seizure. and then i find a balloon hidden in my suitcase. so there i am, with a bag of junk in one hand and the money for my next fix in the other, and i feel at total utter peace. and then i wake up. one day at a time, one day at a time, one day at a time, one day at a time.... thank you." - things we lost in the fire
 

"eye scream" by henry rollins
"love is a dog from hell", "you get so alone at times", "women", "ham on rye" by charles bukowski
"the dharma bums" by jack kerouac
"the electric koolaid-acid test" by tom wolfe

im already planning on getting more. just wasnt sure i could be able to afford them all in one order. it cost me $75 or something around there for this order and $55 for the other order i placed a few days back. i called my dad lastnight and he said those books still havnt come yet, so i guess either today or in the next few days theyll show up.
i picked the free super shipper saver which takes longer for my books to arrive they said (5-9 days) and i saved $9 because i didnt have to pay for shipping costs. and i figure since i wont be back home for another 2weeks because i have to watch the kittens, dog, and babysit my sister on both of her days off those two weeks i might as well wait a bit. who else will be reading then while im not home? nobody. so... haha. yeah.

well thats about it.
gonna go make some lunch, put on a pair of socks so that my feet dont fall off, and go read a book. :))

the kittens were good today. the best theyve been the whole time ive been here so far. they basically just ate, slept, and played with one another throughout the day.

while i was eating dinner i saw a little grey thing come running into the kitchen. my first thought was WHAT THE FUCK?? and then i realized that it was lucky and that he had just climbed out of the 3ft. pin all by himself haha. i dunno how he did it but he did it. so i let him play around a bit with his new found freedom for being able to leave his pin whenever he feels like it, lol.

i just hope he sleeps thru the night and doesnt escape again, because if he does he wont be able to get back in by himself (unless he climbs back in which i doubt he knows how to do at this stage) and he'll shit and pee all over the house. that wont be cool. mom will be pissed.

ironically she isnt even here, none of them are. theyre out of town until tomorrow afternoon at one of my stepdads relatives wedding up in northern fl. on some island in a 5star hotel. yay! anyways, after sunday i have one more week here and then i should be going home after that. i wonder howmuch theyll grow between now and then?

was watching HBO when debra came over to check on the kittens and stuff. started watching "almost famous" and she recommended that i see "raising hellen" so i think ill look that up rightnow. got bored with that and watched some game show.....some pregnant woman won $1,000,000. it was a first for the show. everyone went nuts. maybe now her husband can by himself a nice suit instead of wearing a cheap ass sweater lol. finished that and started to watch a show about violent criminals locked up. this one guy said he got so used to solitary confinement that when they moved him back in with the regular pop. of inmates he asked to not be housed with a roomate and they denied his request so what did he do to go back to solitary confinement? killed his roomate, lol. wtf is with these people? maybe theyll listen next time? coulda avoided the situation all together but nooooo.

talked to my dad today for a bit on the phone. my moms cell gets free nights and weekends so i called down home. my books should arrive on monday, thats good. im already thinking about more books to buy. im starting to become one of those compulsive book buyers, lol. ive bought 11 or so books in the past month alone. thats a first for me. i think for once im really trying to keep busy and focused on something and rightnow this is my only way i know how.

anywaaaays im bored now. dunno what to say anymore. going to sleep.

later.

so those should keep me busy. im still reading the 5 or 6 others i bought the last time i was up here @ my moms. i kinda go back and forth between books all at the same time or i get bored fast. i just started "and the ass saw the angel" by nick cave yesterday, so hopefully ill get into it and finish it by the time i leave to go back home in a week or so. my parents are going up to some wedding for my stepdads family and so i offered to stay here and babysit the dog aswell for the weekend while theyre gone.

fall has finally come and the weather is alot cooler outside all of a sudden. its in the 70's. thats great for me because my dad is too cheap to run the A/C and we practically die in the summer heat and humidity. so thats become alot more bareable as well. good sleeping weather too.